What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I listened to Kamala Harris speech she gave in North Carolina. I support 100% of what she said. I am more and more in favor of a Kamala Harris presidency if Biden becomes unable to be our president! Do you find yourself supporting Kamala Harris now?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Beautiful European women were killed by inquisition but Russia was not Catholic. Is this the reason for a drastic difference explaining why Russian women are the prettiest?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

I caught my husband of 20 years looking at inappropriate pics of women on TikTok or Instagram. I'm not sure., but when I told him he got mad and made excuses of why they popped up. I then told him how I've snuck on his phone and saw what he's been looking at . We had a horrible big fight. I asked him why did he even marry me when I see the type he likes . Nothing like me, I'm petite, blonde and blue eyes. These women are dark haired dark eyed and have curvy bodies, large breasts, etc. I just don't feel the same about him after this. I can't get over this

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

If Andrew Tate said that women only should be on the kitchen, why do Democrats want to elect Kamala Harris?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Your daily horoscope: June 17, 2025 - The Globe and Mail

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.